Why Do All Good Things Come To An End...RIP Andrew

Reconnected with one of my friends from work. Before I was diagnosed with cancer for the second time I was managing one of the branches of a dental corp. That is where I met my co-worker/friend Jo. She is one of those chicks from the hood, a little rough around the edges but with a good heart. This girl is a little crazy but a sweetheart.

The first day I met this chick she gave me a rundown of the scandalous things happening at the office. I was like...wait a minute you don't even know me that well...lol! How right she was too..lol! So my girl quit and went back to the motherland for vacation. But before she left she came by the office with her boyfriend at that time Andrew to give us the good news that they were expecting. We were all happy with the news. Jo and Drew were beaming...can't stop smiling:) After all the excitement, looking back now little did we know that was the last time we were going to see Drew. For the short time I knew Drew he was such a sweet guy. Very well spoken and just a nice demeanour.

A few days ago I reconnected with my girl Jo on Facebook and she called me. She told me that Drew had passed away on January 12th at Stanford Hospital. I could hear the pain through her tears as she told me about losing Drew. I wish I could give her hug over the phone. I can't imagine losing your significant other, your best friend and the father of your unborn child. My heart breaks for my friend for the pain she has to endure. Baby Andrew was born a little over a month after his Dad had passed away. My heart goes out to him and his Mom. Jo you are  strong woman!!! I believe that with all my heart. You are in my prayers always girl!! It was so good talking to you again, I wish we had known that Drew was sick and come to visit since I was a regular at Stanford around that time having my treatments.

Jo you promised a get together, so I am holding you to that....I know you are walking around in PJs and just hanging with Baby Andrew:) so giving you time girl. I love you girl and I am here if you need me.

Losing someone close to you is always so painful. It takes getting used to not seeing the person anymore. All we have are memories and countless wishes. Wishing to see them one more time, wishing to undo the wrongs, wishing we could buy more time, wishing we had been a better friend, a better husband, a better wife, a better sister, a better brother, a better parent and a better ...... and the list goes on.

 Life is so fleeting. More so with all the natural disasters happening and wars breaking out. Treasure your family and friends. Not to be a voice a doom...you never know that might be the last time you will be seeing them. I have been thinking about my friend's situation and how they did not expect to lose Drew. As much as we would like to hold on, death is something inevitable. Many are afraid of it because its an unknown and we tend to fear the unknown. I am glad that death is just a beginning of another journey with Jesus and not the end.

XOXO
Folau

My friend Jo and Drew. Rest in Peace Andrew! You would have made a great Dad! Baby Andrew is such a handsome boy:)

Getting Back To Normal

I was just thinking today how cancer can take over your life- only if you let it! Getting the news is always devastating. Hearing it the second time for me was just as bad as the first time. The doctor told me how she sorry she was that it was back. All I can think about was how hard it was the first time to get back to what I know as "normal life" As a cancer patient I know for a fact how we all want to be normal. Do things that normal people do. Go out whenever we want without worrying about catching something because our immune system has been compromised by chemo, eating whatever we want without worrying about nausea and upset stomach and always having your Dr's digits in case something happens...and many more.

After reading books and talking to other people I have learnt to accept the changes. I have had to live with some side effects from the first time around. I became lactose intolerant (goodbye ice-cream!), joint pain, tingling and numbness of my toes and fingers. I dealt with it and just learnt there's some things I can't do and some things I have to go without. Some days I feel like tempting fate...I grab a couple of Lactaid pills and have a go at ice-cream...hahahaha...and then its a waiting game to see who wins..LOL!! Me or the ice cream...:) My good friend, Filo makes fun of me when I do that:)

So I joined this study on pain management they are researching at Stanford. They gave me some good tips. Glad to say I am off my pain meds for the past 3 days. Yay! I had to take Kadian (morphine) for a while...no pain but stomach problems and drowsiness. Didn't want to feel like I am floating so I decided to try and get through my day without it. Some pain but its manageable. *crossing fingers and toes*

Niece Jordyn's Little Antics...:)

Yay! Wednesday!!! Looking forward to the service this evening. I have been back at home for the past 3 days. Feel like I am getting my strength back- Thank you Jesus! Miss my niece...we went to see her yesterday. Mom treated us to lunch. Had some awesome Indian food and spent time with my family. Jordyn was drama as usual...lol....she does not stop. Indian food is spicy but she wanted it anyway. Mom cut up little pieces and put it on her plate...mind you, girly just turned 10 months...lol! She only has 2 and half teeth...she went ahead and started eating the spicy chicken...oh my word she had tears running down her face..she started coughing but no crying from my little champ...my Mom gave her some water and some naan but baby girl wanted the spicy chicken :D So funny!!!

A few weeks ago I had given her some Sprite, since Jordyn has not tried soda before she did not know what was about to hit her....I gave her some soda and she gulped it down. As soon as the fizz hit, her expressions were hilarious.....she was blinking fast and she was smacking her lips together....hahahahaha! Her little eyes started getting watery...lol! Needless to say she wanted more....at this time food over rules everything else. If you have food, you will be a friend instantly....LOL! She will give you her widest smile...hahahahaha! After about the 4th time she drank the soda...when I offered it to her again she wouldn't open her mouth. She looked at me and shook her head.....it was hilarious! I guess the soda won this time! lol!

She has started walking and we have to run around and catch up with her. She is already going up the stairs...and already figured out how to come down just as fast. She can say a few words that just cracks me up. She started with "Pop it" translation: Stop it. She does "No no no" and shakes her little index finger at you..lol....unfortunately she has attitude too. Last week she was playing with her Mom and she smacked her Mom on the face.  Tui looked at Jordyn and said "Stop it. That hurts" Baby girl started giggling. They kept playing and Jordyn stuck her fingers in her Mom's mouth, my sister bit down on her fingers...Jordyn made an angry face and said to her Mom "Pop it, it hur!" It was so funny! This girl is something else. Will be posting up picture in the future. She is such a blessing! Always brightens up my day. She loves coming to my room at my Mom's house because she knows I have food and juice:) Love this little girl....she is just growing up too fast!

I AM BLESSED

Wow!!! So many things happening around the world...trouble in Egypt, earthquake in New Zealand, Japan and Indonesia, tsunamis in numerous places....Jesus come back soon!! I am glad that I believe in a great God and that I have His peace. His word says in Phil. 4:7 that His peace surpasses all understanding. Its getting worse...I am glad that my trust is in you.

Just read the status on Francis' (Varanisese Drodrolagi) facebook page about separation and holiness. So proud of you girl!! I am thankful that we still have parents and First Church of San Jose who still raise godly young men and women. It is so easy to be out there in the world. Do whatever you please and not live up to any standards. Can't question me on that...I know so. Does not mean we are perfect...our God is. My flaws are numerous...still working on them.

Making a choice to live for God- I have never regretted it. I see how it makes a person better. My husband has become a better person through God's word and God's work in his life. A lot of people did not think he could ever change because he was hard headed and set in his ways. Only my Jesus can do that! So in your face devil!

I am thankful for my carepastors, Bro Sam and Sis Monica Hassas- can I just say- awesome!! That post and I quote by Bro Sam "God made planets.This cancer stuff is easy" just puts things in perspective. Thanks Moni for your post! I cried when I read that. I know and believe that God will heal me. Its like something that is branded in my mind but to think of what Bro Sam posted in Sis Caballero's page it floored me because my God is GREAT!!! He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Ancient of days, the creator of this earth and etc- so what is cancer to Him? Ooohhh Thank you Jesus!!! That builds up my faith.

Sis Vickie 2011 is still our year my friend!

Have a great Saturday everyone! God bless!


-Folau

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY PARENTS!!

My parents recently had their anniversary so we all went out to dinner. They have been married for quite a while...lol! I am blessed to have them in my life...well without them there won't be a me...lol! They have been with us through the ups and downs. Taught us a lot of valuable things about life and I am thankful to God for them. I am praying that God would bless them with many more years of marriage. After losing my aunt last year makes me realize how fragile life could be. MOM and PA- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! We love you!!

We went to this place in Fremont called Bombay ??... forgot the rest of it but its on Mowry Avenue. They serve buffets only on weekends. We had a great time and had great food. Their lamb curry was good...it was just right :) And for dessert, we had mango ice--cream- yum! Great place- would definitely go again.

After dinner we went out to the lounge and there was a party going on in the next room. They had techno music going and my 10 month old niece Jordyn was dancing to it...she dances to anything...lol! When the music stopped the MC made a speech and after his speech he said in a thick Indian accent "Any comments?" It was funny, just never heard of that before in a party...lol....he must be a fan of FB lol!


To my parents: Mikaele & Selai Taitusi.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Pa & Mom!!! We love you dearly. May God bless you with many more. Love from all of us at home especially from your two sweet (headache) grandkids, William & Jordyn:)

Tuesday Marchh 8th 2011

Wow March is already here...the year will be a quarter of the way through by next month. I get emotional when I hear that someone or someone's family member is diagnosed with cancer. Like I said I would not wish cancer on my worst enemy. For so many reasons I get emotional...just learning to deal and accept it is not easy. I sympathize with any new cancer patient because it can be such a painful journey to good health and sometimes there can be so many uncertainties.

Recently a friend that I met through my sister was diagnosed with some form of cancer and he also had surgery. When I would go for treatment he used to check me in with a smile. He is just such a sweet person. So sad to hear when he was admitted. A few weeks back I met him at the Cancer Center at Stanford and he was just coming back from some tests. I did not even recognize him, he had lost so much weight and gone was the happy go lucky smile. Of course I got teary...I know I am getting to be a big mess..lol! He told me how he was going through series of tests and he was just getting tired. I am hoping and praying for a speedy recovery for him.

It has been almost 2 months since my surgery and my recovery has been really slow. I guess the older I get the longer it takes to recover :) I am thankful that the swelling on my feet has finally gone down...now I am waiting for the ankles to go down too. The swelling on my legs have gone down a great deal:) Supposed to be seeing the Dr on Thursday so that can map out my treatment. I am so ready for a vacation..lol! I want to just close my eyes and wish myself to a beach in Fiji....oh I miss home so much. My Dad is leaving this week and I think I will beg him to take me with him...lol....I think I will have a speedy recovery in Fiji ;) but that will have to wait till August. I am glad that through all this God is still in control. 

 

Hi Everyone!!!

WOW!!! It seems  like it has been forever...so nice to be back:) It has been a very emotional journey for me this past few weeks. All of you well wishers and those who keep me in prayer...may God continue to bless you...you have no idea how your prayers and words of encouragement has carried me through.

Went in for surgery on Jan 24th...was originally scheduled for Jan 21st but due to some medical issues had to move it out for another 3 days. 24th finally came and I was ready to get this over with. The original plan was for a double mastectomy but at the last consult my oncologists and surgeons feel that it would not be necessary at this time. The more urgent issue was the spindle cell sarcoma that is growing and not responding to chemotherapy.

I was so disappointed over the fact that months of chemotherapy and putting up with the side effects did nothing to the sarcoma...instead of shrinking the stupid tumor grew a few more centimeters....to be honest I was mad....I lost my hair, felt tired days on end, nauseous....so I was a pissed cancer patient. So I was in that..."why me?" mode...I cried my eyes out....talk to Jesus about it...the only way to go about it when you feel you are at your wits end :) So finally they decided to cut the tumor out...the only way to deal with it...thus the surgery date on Jan 24th.

So as the day arrived, I had changed into the hospital gown and was very well medicated :) and lying on that hospital bed I was thinking about all the people that had been with me through out this...family, church family and friends and realized how much strength we get when we have people praying for us. Thank you Bro Al,  Sis Filo & family, Drodrolagi family, Sis Wanda and Sis Mary Kay for visiting me...love you guys:)

Had my surgery- they resectioned the tumor, took it out by a clear margin....removed two ribs and did a biopsy on my lung...needless to say...pain was going to be a constant companion in the next couple of weeks. The staff and doctors at Stanford did a great job. Had little complications during my recovery at the hospital...but was able to go home after a week..spent a week at home and then I was back at the hospital for another week of vacation..lol!

At this point it was getting a little too much for me...I was tired of being away from home, I was getting poked with needles so many times and I just wanted everything to be over with. They could not let me go home yet because I was running fevers and chills with no explaination. So they did several series of blood tests and found that there was a parasite in my blood....antibiotics took care of that... thank you Jesus!!! And then the fun continues....I got blood transfusion for the first time... such a strange feeling to have to need someone else's blood..that did not sit well with me but I needed it. The first one went well...my second transfusion was a killer....I literally thought that was it for me....I could not breathe and I was so cold I was shaking and broke out in rashes. It was scary. I was thinking to myself..."this is it!" thank God they have good meds for calming down reactions. It really made me think when that happened....am I ready to go? I don't feel ready...there's still so much work to be done on me spiritually and I still have families and friends that I need to reach for Jesus.

So its been 4 days now at home....having nausea and throwing up at times but all in all I feel blessed to be alive. My appetite is slowly returning and my strength is slowly coming back as well:) This has not been easy for me....my husband told me to pray when I can't sleep or when I am feeling down...I have been doing that and it has helped me a lot. I have my days when I can't take it so my answer to that is to leave it to Jesus- He will figure it out for me..He has been to my tomorrow.

I am happy to announce that my hair is growing back...it just a fuzz but its growing...THANK YOU JESUS!!! *I will post pics of my new hair*

PS: Thank you to all the ladies that brought flowers and fruits:) (First Church of San Jose, Sis Filo, Sis Lani, Sis Jessica, Sis Mary, Sis Wanda and Mommy.