Hi Everyone!!!

WOW!!! It seems  like it has been forever...so nice to be back:) It has been a very emotional journey for me this past few weeks. All of you well wishers and those who keep me in prayer...may God continue to bless you...you have no idea how your prayers and words of encouragement has carried me through.

Went in for surgery on Jan 24th...was originally scheduled for Jan 21st but due to some medical issues had to move it out for another 3 days. 24th finally came and I was ready to get this over with. The original plan was for a double mastectomy but at the last consult my oncologists and surgeons feel that it would not be necessary at this time. The more urgent issue was the spindle cell sarcoma that is growing and not responding to chemotherapy.

I was so disappointed over the fact that months of chemotherapy and putting up with the side effects did nothing to the sarcoma...instead of shrinking the stupid tumor grew a few more centimeters....to be honest I was mad....I lost my hair, felt tired days on end, nauseous....so I was a pissed cancer patient. So I was in that..."why me?" mode...I cried my eyes out....talk to Jesus about it...the only way to go about it when you feel you are at your wits end :) So finally they decided to cut the tumor out...the only way to deal with it...thus the surgery date on Jan 24th.

So as the day arrived, I had changed into the hospital gown and was very well medicated :) and lying on that hospital bed I was thinking about all the people that had been with me through out this...family, church family and friends and realized how much strength we get when we have people praying for us. Thank you Bro Al,  Sis Filo & family, Drodrolagi family, Sis Wanda and Sis Mary Kay for visiting me...love you guys:)

Had my surgery- they resectioned the tumor, took it out by a clear margin....removed two ribs and did a biopsy on my lung...needless to say...pain was going to be a constant companion in the next couple of weeks. The staff and doctors at Stanford did a great job. Had little complications during my recovery at the hospital...but was able to go home after a week..spent a week at home and then I was back at the hospital for another week of vacation..lol!

At this point it was getting a little too much for me...I was tired of being away from home, I was getting poked with needles so many times and I just wanted everything to be over with. They could not let me go home yet because I was running fevers and chills with no explaination. So they did several series of blood tests and found that there was a parasite in my blood....antibiotics took care of that... thank you Jesus!!! And then the fun continues....I got blood transfusion for the first time... such a strange feeling to have to need someone else's blood..that did not sit well with me but I needed it. The first one went well...my second transfusion was a killer....I literally thought that was it for me....I could not breathe and I was so cold I was shaking and broke out in rashes. It was scary. I was thinking to myself..."this is it!" thank God they have good meds for calming down reactions. It really made me think when that happened....am I ready to go? I don't feel ready...there's still so much work to be done on me spiritually and I still have families and friends that I need to reach for Jesus.

So its been 4 days now at home....having nausea and throwing up at times but all in all I feel blessed to be alive. My appetite is slowly returning and my strength is slowly coming back as well:) This has not been easy for me....my husband told me to pray when I can't sleep or when I am feeling down...I have been doing that and it has helped me a lot. I have my days when I can't take it so my answer to that is to leave it to Jesus- He will figure it out for me..He has been to my tomorrow.

I am happy to announce that my hair is growing back...it just a fuzz but its growing...THANK YOU JESUS!!! *I will post pics of my new hair*

PS: Thank you to all the ladies that brought flowers and fruits:) (First Church of San Jose, Sis Filo, Sis Lani, Sis Jessica, Sis Mary, Sis Wanda and Mommy.

Happy New Year....This is will be a Great Year- In Jesus Name!

Hi everyone!!!


It has been a few weeks since I have been on my blog for numerous reasons but I am back:) My new year has been relatively quiet....loved it! I think as I get older I treasure peace and quiet:) Since the last time I had updated my blog, I have been to the ER twice...one for mild pneumonia and an infection which raised my heartrate...to this day my heartrate is still high....50 times more than my normal usual heartrate. Doctors do not know exactly what is going on. I am a little worried about it. My second visit was last week....my eyes decided to swell up at the same time. I had radiation to my right eye back in August of 2010 because a tumor had affected my vision. The Drs at Valley Medical told me that I would permanently lose my vision but by God's grace my vision is slowly returning to my right eye.

So the Drs at Stanford Hosp gave me an ointment for my eyes....Its doing much better except that I have another eye infection this morning.....LOL!!! Yes my life is very exciting!!:) So I have put some eye drops and hopefully it will clear up so I can go to the evening service. I need to- I will be down for the next couple of weeks.

One thing I am so happy about is that they stopped chemo on me and I am feeling much better.  They had to stop chemo on me for several reasons and one of them was because my type of cancer was not responding to the chemo. It has grown twice as big so we are going for our second option of surgery to remove the tumor. I am scheduled for surgery in the coming week and of course I am a little nervous...my second time going under the knife but that does not make it any better. Leaving it all in God's hands...He will see me through.

Apart from that I have been getting more energy and rejoining everyone in the land of the living:) I am able to get up and clean my room....giving my hubby a break:) Before I could not even sit up on some days. All I wanted was my pillow and blanket and my heater....yes I would be freezing in the middle of the day..lol! Woke up this morning with no probs except for the swollen eye.

One thing you will need to do when going through cancer is that you need to pay attention to your body.....very important because your Drs will quiz you on every visit. No one who goes through cancer comes out the same way they went in. If you are fortunate enough you will not have any side effects from your treatment....maybe some battle scars...testifying to what you have been through. I salute fellow survivors.....it is not easy because it wears you down physically, emotionally and mentally. That is why whenever it gets hard for me I remind myself that someone out there is having it worse that I have. I am grateful and thankful that I have God on my side...if it wasn't for Him...I would not be here today...real talk!! Every cancer patient wishes for good health....its that simple....nothing else matters.

Things that you take for granted you will treasure....like your appetite:) Its so funny how when I go for chemo all I can see on each patient's screen is food channel:) One of the most common side effects is nausea and not being able to keep food down....thus the obsession with food. Cancer is something I would not even wish for my worst enemy. Cancer sucks!

I am looking forward to getting better and just getting back to normal life. I miss so many things like just being able to fellowship and socialize with family and friends.....my kids at my Sunday school class. So can't wait to get back!

 Have a great Sunday!!

Reflecting Back on how 2010 Was & Looking Forward to 2011

2010 started out promising and it is also ending with a great note. Looking back we cannot have gotten through without the love and grace of God. It would have been IMPOSSIBLE. We have a great support system and God had purposely put people in our lives and that has been a great blessing. We have a supportive family and a praying and caring church family, Pastor and Pastor's wife and Bishop and Sis Bobbie (Sis Bobbie love you!!! You are a blessing in my life) and just a great group of friends. I am grateful and thankful for that. Family and friends that has stood by us through thick and thin.

I would like to thank each and everyone of you who has made 2010 memorable for us. Forgive me if I missed you in my list...that will be my fault...my excuse "chemobrain" (keeping it light..lol!)

-Mom & Pa: Thank you for being there for us. We love you!!

-Momo B & Nei Lewa (my in-laws): Thank you being there for us...you are a blessing and the best:)

-Na Lia: Thanks for all you do....looking forward to 2011...hope you come back to church with me:)

-Tui: To my only sister....Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for getting things going at Stanford. I appreciate it greatly...now they call me the VIP patient at the ITA...hahahaha! and they spoil me too....lol!! I am not complaining about that:) You have always been the one asking my Drs questions....my other brain when mine is not functioning:) I love you my sissy...so my biggest wish for you is to come and know Jesus like we have experienced.

-Ju: My only brother. Thanks for being there little bro. You have grown a little mature:) and I am glad to see that God has His hand upon you. Without God you cannot accomplish anything. Always good to have Him on your side. We love you Ju!

-Tua Cama: thanks for being there though you drive me nuts sometimes:) We love you Tua!!!

-Tikolutus- Where do I start?? God has blessed us with your family- our second family:) Your family has taught us a lot about holding on- that this is only for a season...we thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. We are so thankful and grateful for your family. Our prayer is that God will continue to bless you and your ministry.

-Drodrolagis- We are so thankful for your family. Our second family with a big heart and love for God:) Been there for us when we needed you and we are so grateful to have people like you in our lives. May God continue to bless you in the coming years.

-Our Pastor: Pastor J. Shoemake and Sis Tasha- Thank you for always lifting us up in prayer. We greatly appreciate all your prayers and words of encouragement. It has helped us get through the tough times. May God continue to bless your family! We love and appreaciate you!

-Our Bishop: Bishop Shoemake and Sis Bobbie: We appreciate that you are always praying for us. Sis Bobbie thanks for your words of encouragement and prayers. We love you!!

- My church family (my church:First Church of San Jose:))- Thank you for all your prayers, words of encouragement and support. We would not have the strength to be going through this without your prayers.

-Our Care Pastor: Bro S. Hassas & Sis Monica: Thank for your for your prayers and support and for always checking in on me:) Love you guys and may God continue to bless you in every aspect of your lives:) Go Mrs Darcy!!!

-Sis Vicky: I am so glad I have a friend like you:) I mean that- You know exactly what I am going through:) It makes it bearable when I have a friend going through the same thing as me:) I thank God for you:) You are one of the strongest women I know. You have taught me how to take it as it comes and to smile and bear it even though I feel like crying at a drop of a hat...LOL!!! To have a friend like you is a blessing!!! My friend.....like you said 2011 is our year!!! I am believing that with you. I am still believing for our miracle. Things are starting to turn around....God is faithful!! I love you my friend!!!

-To all our friends and extended family: There's too many to name....to all of you that has been praying for us and sending us notes of encouragement...thank you for doing that...you did not have to do that but you did and we are thankful that you did:) We can never have enough prayer:) We pray that God would bless each and everyone of you in the coming year.

-To everyone that has made 2010 memorable for us, please know that we love and appreciate you and we pray that God will bless you.

I am excited and looking forward to 2011. It is the year of possibilities, miracles and great things!!!

Have a Happy and Prosperous New Year Everyone!!! God Bless!!!

Good Morning:) I am Blessed!!!

Blessed with the preaching last night. Blessed to have a great Pastor. Isn't it amazing that the word of God is always the right one for your situation? GOD IS GOOD!!!

I am ready to start the week. I have an early start this morning. Not exactly looking forward to today's appointment. It has been a rollercoaster ride for me but I am trusting in God to see me through. They had ordered genetic testing on me about 3-4weeks ago to find out why I am having different cancers at a young age. Breast cancer and Spindle Cell Sarcoma are the two that we are dealing with.

My results came back the day before Thanksgiving and I tested positive for the Li-Fraumeni Syndrome. This means I am at a high risk of getting more cancers because of a mutation in a gene that we all have called the TP53. They have told me that there's nothing they can do because this gene is in every cell but let me tell you my God is still in control. Thank you Sis Vicky for always reminding me of this! You have and continue to be a great friend and listener through all this and I appreciate that very much.

So here I am...waiting for what treatment plan they have for me. God has seen us through so many things and this is just another bump on the road.

http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/li-fraumeni-syndrome

Friday

I had such a great two days of Thanksgiving. Spending time with my family. We should always be thankful for what we have- Thanksgiving is like a reminder for me. I am so thankful for what I have. I am thankful to God that He gives me life everyday. Sometimes its hard but the good times make it worth our while and the bad- well we need to learn from it- and if it does not kill us it makes us stronger:) Like my Pastor says...God will not let you go through it if you cannot handle it....I believe that.

My husband did most of the cooking this Thanksgiving- I am so proud of him:) He cooked the turkey, baked corn muffins, cut up the veggies for the side dishes and carved the ham and the turkey. I love you my husband and I am THANKFUL for you:) We have so much leftovers so this morning I got up with turkey on the brain:) Got up and had thanksgiving food for breakfast lol! Yup! The whole sha-bang!!! Skipped the pumpkin pie....but I will be back...:) Can you believe my prayer was answered- I tasted food:) so while it lasts I am going for my favorite foods:)

Thanksgiving Cooking

My other favorite part of Thanksgiving is the eating part..lol:) I think I will try some new recipes this year because I am in charge of the side dishes.. maybe I should stick to the usual...thinking good old corn bread stuffing, green beans and the works,  roasted sweet potatoes and veges, mashed potatoes...  My aunt has dessert down....can't go wrong with pumpkin and pecan pie..I like mine with ice-cream need to pop a pill for this..lol! think lactose intolerant. Hubby has been going on about pumpkin cheesecake...we'll see...

I remember attempting my first Thanksgiving dinner years ago. The turkey looked so perfect on the outside but it was raw..it was a Disaster!!! My family had to wait longer to eat..lol...I have learnt my lesson. My mother-in-law on the other hand makes a mean Thanksgiving meal...I mean from scratch...and she makes these baked potatoes with veges...to die for!!! I still need that recipe:)

I love to cook and looking for recipes is like a new hobby now..lol..one of the nurses mentioned to me that she has met a lot of patients who are into cooking and just watching cooking shows when in the chair. I guess its because we can't eat most of it we just like to look at it :) How ironic:) I am hoping my tastebuds return to normal on Thanksgiving..lol! One can dream!! :)


Have a Great Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving- what it means to me...I am thankful for a lot of things.I am thankful to Jesus for the gift of life. I am thankful for my family and my friends. I am thankful for my husband. Yes I am. God gave me the right one:) We have been through thick and thin- God is good! I am thankful for my Dad and my Mom- they are there for me when I need them, my in-laws..love them too- I am thankful for my sister- she has been so supportive and calms me down when I get in panic mode- my little brother for helping when I get too tired to do things on my own.

I am thankful for a good and supportive church family. Great pastor and pastor's wife, great care pastor and care pastor wife. Great friends:)

Sometimes it feels like we are stuck in one place but when we look back God has really brought us a long long way from where we started from. So I am thankful for that. I am thankful just to be alive. I am thankful for the people God has brought into my life at this time.