Accessing my Mediport

This is what the nurses do to blood draws and administer chemotherapy. I have had mine since 2007 and its a trooper...lol! I absolutely dislike needles but since this is a normal routine I have had to suck it up like a big girl...lol! Don't mind the double chin it was a souvenir left behind from 6 months of taking steroids...lol!

It is now 9.54PM and my temperature is back at 101.8. I called the oncologist on call giving him a bright and shining report and that it was just a spike in my temperature. He was not buying it all so off I go to the ER and then admission for a few days...hmmmmm...just a day in my exciting life :o) Geez I just got released this past Monday, I think they miss me over there :o) Just had dinner and about to pack and leave.

See yah later alligator~~~ :o) (I know I can be dorky..lol!)

xoxo

Update

So yesterday was uneventful. Went for my appointments. Saw the radiation oncologist. We went through my records. Since I have Le Fraumeni Syndrome http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/li-fraumeni-syndrome I am not supposed to be getting any form of radiation unless that is my last and only option. So we have a tentative treatment plan in place. We got to review my brain MRI. Saw the 2 spots. They are still at 3mm so no need to worry about it right now. Getting new scans in 3 weeks to see if it has grown and we will decide on treatment then. I was going to start bawling...lol! it was a moment where I was wishing they would leave so I could just pull myself together. Proud to say I kept myself together ALL DAY...lol! yay me! Sometimes it does get too much and I start to wonder will this ever be over.

Met with my oncologist after to see how I was fairing. Well CT scans had shown that the nodes in the lungs had increased in size. From 11mm to 16mm. But she assured me that we need to give it time since I have just started on my treatment 3 months ago. We had shrunk those suckers before with Taxotere, Germicide and Tamoxifen. I lost my hair on this one. It was a little rough. But we got through it by the grace of God.

My new treatment includes Herceptin, Zolodex, Zomeda and I take Arimedex daily. Herceptin to take care of the breast cancer, Zolodex to stop the ovaries (thus the early menopause) and Zomeda to strengthen the bones since they had discovered new bone lesions. This treatment is a little easier to handle compared to the last one. At least I thought so..lol! Oh my how wrong was I..lol! I had done Herceptin before and never had any complications. So I went in not dreading anything at all...my nurse started me on saline and then put me on Herceptin....I reacted with bad chills (rigors) bp dropping and O2 stat dropping...they had rapid response team in my room and my husband and sister were told to go wait outside. I can't lie I was nervous and I thought I was going to kick the bucket...lol! Little sister was a mess and panicking and husband was getting there...but thank God that drama came to an end...lol! But I am happy to tell you that my system is behaving thus far and here's to hoping it stays that way:o)

My regiment was changed last week.
Wk 1: Herceptin (1wk dose)
Wk 2: Herceptin (3wk dose), Zomeda and Zolodex and then a break for 21 days;o) I heart my breaks..lol!

I took this out of my CT Scan report. Did this scan 3/11/2011:

IMPRESSION:

1.OVERALL WORSENING OF METASTATIC DISEASE, WITH INCREASING SIZE AND
NUMBER OF THE MULTIPLE BILATERAL PULMONARY NODULES AND AT LEAST ONE
NEW BONE LESION.

2.POSTSURGICAL CHANGES IN THE LEFT CHEST WALL WITH DECREASED
LOCULATED LEFT PLEURAL EFFUSION.


My song: Whose report will you believe? So taking it one day at a time. This is not over yet but it will be soon. Believing in that!!

Top of the morning to yah!

Good morning all! I know it has been a while since I have posted in my blog...I know I suck at being a blogger..lol! No need to tell me...the first step is admitting the problem :o) Last week I was just feeling kind of bleh...I felt so tired...wait fatigue would be the better word. It was like going through the first few months of chemo again. I totally hated disliked it but I am managing now. So I have been taking my vitamin pills faithfully....did I mention I just love (NOT) taking any type of pills. I still have yet to try Sis Tasha's miracle green powder.

I am taking Centrum Ultra Women and Caltrate also for horses  women....geez this pills are seriously for horses..they are huge and I feel like taking one everyday is like playing russian roulette with my precious life (don't read too much into that..I am just being dramatic) But on a brighter note my pill count has decreased dramatically. Thank you Jesus! Whew! So here are my weapons of assault:

Clindmycin (I will tell you why later) for infection side effect: diarrhea
Centrum (horse pills) for Vitamins side effect: constipation
Caltrate (horse pills) for Vit D and Calcium side effect: constipation
Anastrozole (for breast cancer side effect: hot flashes)
Odensetron (for nausea side effects: dizzy, sleepyness, drowsiness and constipation)
Oxycodone (for pain side effect: constipation)
Kadian (aka morphine for extended pain relief side effect: constipation)

*This morning I skipped pain meds....I am not in pain*

That's my line up for now. Can you believe I wrote all those without looking at the labels (ok I peeked at the vitamin bottles)...hmmm I should work at the pharmacy after this is done...whaddayathunk?!

Like I said I absolutely dislike taking pills. It came just about the time I started with the cancer treatment. I would scare myself silly reading the side effects and then justify not taking it. It throws your system into a loop...one word BENEFIBER...will be your bosom buddy..'nuff said....I rest my case.

So today I am highly excited...for no apparent reason...I have infusion (the word my oncologist uses for milder medicines...hhhmm still pondering that one) today in about 2 hours...goshdarn it I wanted to do something else...since my health depends on it, I can't cancel. As a great patient you best believe even if my life did not depend on it I will still not go *smiles* yup they adore me there..lol!

Let me explain myself and those of you who have been through this will understand where I am coming from. When you see the doctors so many times you do get tired of it...so I do play the cat and mouse with my doctor's office sometimes...I do get tired and to top it off is when you have a feeling it will be bad news when they call you in.

But I am back in good behavior and so today I am going to suck it up, go to my appointment and take this infusion like a grown women.*I feel I should have background music playing for that earth shattering statement* salute please...I kid I kid..lol!

Have a good one! God bless.

Renewed Our Vows on Saturday May 14th 2011

My husband of 7 years :o) Manasau Maitoga and I standing with my parents and niece, Jordyn.

My husband and I have been married for seven years and have known each other for nine years. Our families have ties that go way back. We are blessed with the best families, friends and church families and we were glad that they were able to join us our special day. We were unable to invite everyone due to the size of the venue and we wish we could...my sincere apologies.

The day was a little overcast but it turned out enjoyable. Lots of food and lots of laughter. It was an experience for our non-fijian friends..lol! They got to try Fijian food from the lovo (similar to luau food) The ceremony was performed by Bro Prandez and it was all we could ask for. Thank you so much Bro Prandez! The ceremony was short and very simple with a lot of meaning.

Seven years ago when I said I do at the Santa Clara courthouse those vows did not mean a whole lot.  You know....through sickness and in health, through good times and bad...*even writing this I am still teary* hoping hubby does not walk in while I am writing and crying...hahahahahaha! Let's get back to my story:o) As I was saying at that time it was just the excitement of getting married, being in love and hoping for a brighter future together. Getting only the good things out of life...you know...hoping for nothing but the best. Life has a way of teaching you things and you better pay attention too...lol!

During the ceremony I could not stop the tears....7 years can feel so short or feel like a lifetime. Mine was starting to feel like a lifetime at times....When the vows were read out and it came to the part where it says through sickness and in health...now I know how true that can be. It was a moment of reflection. Thanking God for bringing us together.  I am blessed to married to my best friend, my number 1 fan and the best ever.

I keep going back to the trying times of being married and marvel at the hand of God at work. He is truly amazing. It may feel like life can be at a standstill and of course I start to wonder "when will this ever end"...but it has taught us that even when it feels like there's no progress God is still at work. Every victory is so worth the struggle. You savor that victory because it is hard earned and prayer earned :o)

I am so thankful for the people that helped us through...guided, comforted and counseled us through the tough times. We know it is not over yet but God always has the last word. I am just blessed!

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I LOVE YOU MY DEAR HUSBAND AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR WHAT GOD HAS IN STORE FOR US!! HERE'S TO MANY MORE YEARS TOGETHER. IT MAY NEVER BE PERFECT BUT AS LONG I HAVE JESUS AND YOU I AM HAPPY!!

LOVE ALWAYS,
YOUR WIFE

One More Day And You will be 1 My Dear Niece, Jordyn Tupou McGehee!!

Hey there! Hope everyone is doing well:o) Time flies!! My niece is turning 1 tomorrow! Its seems like it was yesterday that she was born. My beautiful little niece Jordyn Tupou McGehee. She is just so precious. She is such a blessing. A little drama queen and a brilliant little girl and just a big personality for such a little person..lol! My husband calls her "my little hurricane" because of the mess she makes. My goodness now that she is walking she seems to take a liking to swiping everything off the table...lol!

One day after giving up on telling her to stop and I just watched her....not sure what was going on in that little head...she would just stand on the spot and then take things and threw it over her shoulders....it must bother her that things are in order...lol...must we have chaos to have peace?....not getting that! It is so funny how she only listens to my brother. The rest of us can talk and call her till we are hoarse and she will ignore us...but when it comes to Junior she will stand there  beside him without touching anything...its hilarious!! she will only do it if my brother gives her the ok...lol! So her new thing now is talking on the phone. If the phone rings or she sees us talking on the phone...she will throw a tantrum till we give her the phone. She gets on the phone and says: "Hi pepi!" and "Bye pepi!" and then she hangs up on you....no phone etiquette at all :o)

We love her and we are glad that she is part of our lives. We love you little brat!!

Top of the morning to you! :)

Good morning! It is so beautiful this morning. Got up early like clockwork..lol! I was never a morning person till I started all this treatment. Either it was my meds or the just the discomfort. I am looking for my dream bed:) This one has kind of runs its course. My sister recently purchased this king sized thing...at first I liked it because it was so soft but woke up with backpain...so not going for soft. Firm is the one. Now just gotta find one. Good thing my husband is always up for anything after the nagging...LOL!! But he is a great husband- I can't complain. He takes great care of me:)

So I went for my appointment and discussed all treatment needed with my doctor. I will be starting treatment tomorrow:P Not really looking forward to it but my doctor said it would be an easier regiment...not as aggresive as my last chemo. There's a catch...if it doesn't work in the next 3 months, I will be back on chemotherapy......eewww! So not the business! So they told me....they will give me a week break after the first cycle.....I am hoping that it falls on August. I asked them about going to Fiji in August-  no definite answer....just like "we will work with you" so I am not too sure what that meant. Hoping that meant a yes. I need a vacation...lol! really bad! lol!

Seen my surgeon yesterday (Thoracic surgeon) Dr Whyte. A fine doctor and very knowledgeable. Anyway so we had our discussion yesterday, he says things are looking good and healing up very well. Thank you Jesus. He had taken out the 3rd and 4th rib and replaced it with some mesh material. Told him about the pain and discomfort I was having, he said it will get better with time. Explained to me that the pain was because they removed nerves and muscles along with the ribs. I have been having some numbness on my side but I was assured that it was normal. My chest wall resection went as planned:) Some ray of light there...lol! He had looked at my scans- it looks like its healing well. Thank you Jesus!

Just got my meds yesterday, Neurotin. It is supposed to help me with the numbness on my toes. The numbness was a side effect of the chemo. So anyway I was reading through the medication information and then came to the side effects....it said anxiety, depression...I was like what? It was a drama queen moment for me...I don't have too many of those..lol! I don't know about this....I haven't taken one yet....I will talk to my doctor again tomorrow. I would rather have numbness and then go through depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety is part of the package when going through treatment, surgery and just being uncertain about life. To add more is just not going to work for me. No thank you...

So I have just had a light bulb moment recently...I have learnt to speak up if I am uncomfortable about a certain treatment and I have a right to refuse. When I first started treatment it was like- do whatever you want with me, give me whatever medicine you want but just get me out of this misery. I found that approach did not work so well. I was the one suffering more. Its good to be informed about your options, have a look at your x-rays, scans and reports- don't just rely on what the doctors are saying. Do your research, ask questions be part of the decision making. The more informed you are, the more prepared you will be.

More than anything trusting in God is the key. I believe that. With God nothing is impossible!

Here We Go Again.

Riding the rollercoaster again. Not a fun experience...but can't be avoided.  This is surely getting old and frustrating as well. Wishing I could run away from all this. I really do. Its getting harder to stay positive about this- I am only human and there's only so much I can take. Not sure wheather to run, scream or cry.

Went to see my doctor on Thursday, got nothing but bad news. I am so sick of it really. I dread going to the doctor. Its like taking one step forward and three steps back. Bone scan results were not good either. My doctor gave me my options of treatment- thank goodness that there's hormone treatment instead of chemo. I will be back on herceptin and I will be given bone strengthening meds. What I like is that I am not going to lose my hair- Thank you Jesus! It just started growing back (*I will post pics up*)

Going in again for surgery on the 13th. Not going to be a major surgery like the one I just had. I will be having a lumpectomy. It will be outpatient- thank you Jesus! I hate staying in hospitals :oP Love the level of care at Stanford Hospitals but I just can't stay...lol! So another bump but we are on our way somewhere hopefully...lol! Starting treatment again on Thursday. They going to give me shots every month and a side effect of that shot is hot flashes...bring on the hot flashes- it ain't nothing new...but I just got started on a new medicine called neurotin and that is supposed to take care of the hot flashes....LOL! we will wait and see if that works!! Knowing me...if there's side effects to be had...you best believe I will get it....hahahahaha!

Going to see the Bevu family in Santa Rosa was what I needed. Just needed to get away and just enjoy the company of family. Jim & Tagici you guys are the best....gotta have meatpies again. Our baker is still tired..lol!