Top of the morning to you! :)

Good morning! It is so beautiful this morning. Got up early like clockwork..lol! I was never a morning person till I started all this treatment. Either it was my meds or the just the discomfort. I am looking for my dream bed:) This one has kind of runs its course. My sister recently purchased this king sized thing...at first I liked it because it was so soft but woke up with backpain...so not going for soft. Firm is the one. Now just gotta find one. Good thing my husband is always up for anything after the nagging...LOL!! But he is a great husband- I can't complain. He takes great care of me:)

So I went for my appointment and discussed all treatment needed with my doctor. I will be starting treatment tomorrow:P Not really looking forward to it but my doctor said it would be an easier regiment...not as aggresive as my last chemo. There's a catch...if it doesn't work in the next 3 months, I will be back on chemotherapy......eewww! So not the business! So they told me....they will give me a week break after the first cycle.....I am hoping that it falls on August. I asked them about going to Fiji in August-  no definite answer....just like "we will work with you" so I am not too sure what that meant. Hoping that meant a yes. I need a vacation...lol! really bad! lol!

Seen my surgeon yesterday (Thoracic surgeon) Dr Whyte. A fine doctor and very knowledgeable. Anyway so we had our discussion yesterday, he says things are looking good and healing up very well. Thank you Jesus. He had taken out the 3rd and 4th rib and replaced it with some mesh material. Told him about the pain and discomfort I was having, he said it will get better with time. Explained to me that the pain was because they removed nerves and muscles along with the ribs. I have been having some numbness on my side but I was assured that it was normal. My chest wall resection went as planned:) Some ray of light there...lol! He had looked at my scans- it looks like its healing well. Thank you Jesus!

Just got my meds yesterday, Neurotin. It is supposed to help me with the numbness on my toes. The numbness was a side effect of the chemo. So anyway I was reading through the medication information and then came to the side effects....it said anxiety, depression...I was like what? It was a drama queen moment for me...I don't have too many of those..lol! I don't know about this....I haven't taken one yet....I will talk to my doctor again tomorrow. I would rather have numbness and then go through depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety is part of the package when going through treatment, surgery and just being uncertain about life. To add more is just not going to work for me. No thank you...

So I have just had a light bulb moment recently...I have learnt to speak up if I am uncomfortable about a certain treatment and I have a right to refuse. When I first started treatment it was like- do whatever you want with me, give me whatever medicine you want but just get me out of this misery. I found that approach did not work so well. I was the one suffering more. Its good to be informed about your options, have a look at your x-rays, scans and reports- don't just rely on what the doctors are saying. Do your research, ask questions be part of the decision making. The more informed you are, the more prepared you will be.

More than anything trusting in God is the key. I believe that. With God nothing is impossible!

Here We Go Again.

Riding the rollercoaster again. Not a fun experience...but can't be avoided.  This is surely getting old and frustrating as well. Wishing I could run away from all this. I really do. Its getting harder to stay positive about this- I am only human and there's only so much I can take. Not sure wheather to run, scream or cry.

Went to see my doctor on Thursday, got nothing but bad news. I am so sick of it really. I dread going to the doctor. Its like taking one step forward and three steps back. Bone scan results were not good either. My doctor gave me my options of treatment- thank goodness that there's hormone treatment instead of chemo. I will be back on herceptin and I will be given bone strengthening meds. What I like is that I am not going to lose my hair- Thank you Jesus! It just started growing back (*I will post pics up*)

Going in again for surgery on the 13th. Not going to be a major surgery like the one I just had. I will be having a lumpectomy. It will be outpatient- thank you Jesus! I hate staying in hospitals :oP Love the level of care at Stanford Hospitals but I just can't stay...lol! So another bump but we are on our way somewhere hopefully...lol! Starting treatment again on Thursday. They going to give me shots every month and a side effect of that shot is hot flashes...bring on the hot flashes- it ain't nothing new...but I just got started on a new medicine called neurotin and that is supposed to take care of the hot flashes....LOL! we will wait and see if that works!! Knowing me...if there's side effects to be had...you best believe I will get it....hahahahaha!

Going to see the Bevu family in Santa Rosa was what I needed. Just needed to get away and just enjoy the company of family. Jim & Tagici you guys are the best....gotta have meatpies again. Our baker is still tired..lol!