Thursday, February 17, 2011
Went in for surgery on Jan 24th...was originally scheduled for Jan 21st but due to some medical issues had to move it out for another 3 days. 24th finally came and I was ready to get this over with. The original plan was for a double mastectomy but at the last consult my oncologists and surgeons feel that it would not be necessary at this time. The more urgent issue was the spindle cell sarcoma that is growing and not responding to chemotherapy.
I was so disappointed over the fact that months of chemotherapy and putting up with the side effects did nothing to the sarcoma...instead of shrinking the stupid tumor grew a few more centimeters....to be honest I was mad....I lost my hair, felt tired days on end, nauseous....so I was a pissed cancer patient. So I was in that..."why me?" mode...I cried my eyes out....talk to Jesus about it...the only way to go about it when you feel you are at your wits end :) So finally they decided to cut the tumor out...the only way to deal with it...thus the surgery date on Jan 24th.
So as the day arrived, I had changed into the hospital gown and was very well medicated :) and lying on that hospital bed I was thinking about all the people that had been with me through out this...family, church family and friends and realized how much strength we get when we have people praying for us. Thank you Bro Al, Sis Filo & family, Drodrolagi family, Sis Wanda and Sis Mary Kay for visiting me...love you guys:)
Had my surgery- they resectioned the tumor, took it out by a clear margin....removed two ribs and did a biopsy on my lung...needless to say...pain was going to be a constant companion in the next couple of weeks. The staff and doctors at Stanford did a great job. Had little complications during my recovery at the hospital...but was able to go home after a week..spent a week at home and then I was back at the hospital for another week of vacation..lol!
At this point it was getting a little too much for me...I was tired of being away from home, I was getting poked with needles so many times and I just wanted everything to be over with. They could not let me go home yet because I was running fevers and chills with no explaination. So they did several series of blood tests and found that there was a parasite in my blood....antibiotics took care of that... thank you Jesus!!! And then the fun continues....I got blood transfusion for the first time... such a strange feeling to have to need someone else's blood..that did not sit well with me but I needed it. The first one went well...my second transfusion was a killer....I literally thought that was it for me....I could not breathe and I was so cold I was shaking and broke out in rashes. It was scary. I was thinking to myself..."this is it!" thank God they have good meds for calming down reactions. It really made me think when that happened....am I ready to go? I don't feel ready...there's still so much work to be done on me spiritually and I still have families and friends that I need to reach for Jesus.
So its been 4 days now at home....having nausea and throwing up at times but all in all I feel blessed to be alive. My appetite is slowly returning and my strength is slowly coming back as well:) This has not been easy for me....my husband told me to pray when I can't sleep or when I am feeling down...I have been doing that and it has helped me a lot. I have my days when I can't take it so my answer to that is to leave it to Jesus- He will figure it out for me..He has been to my tomorrow.
I am happy to announce that my hair is growing back...it just a fuzz but its growing...THANK YOU JESUS!!! *I will post pics of my new hair*
PS: Thank you to all the ladies that brought flowers and fruits:) (First Church of San Jose, Sis Filo, Sis Lani, Sis Jessica, Sis Mary, Sis Wanda and Mommy.