Friday, August 3, 2012


 I just found this essay my wife wrote for completion online. I've never read it till today
 One of the last things she wrote.
                                                           PROVEN LOVE

I was nervous and excited as we went for our court wedding. I have just turned 21 six days earlier and now I am going to be a wife. We said our vows and then the chaplain announced us as husband and wife. I remember those age old lines “in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” I just never knew at that time how true it would become.

I met my husband in 2002. Love is such a beautiful thing. We started off as friends and started dating a year later. We got married on August 25th 2004. At that time I just knew he was the one. My family did not agree with that but eventually they came around. He was a caring person, he would do anything for me and he was always there when I needed him.

Getting married was different. You actually get to live with the person and certain things tend to come out. You can easily get on each other’s nerves and arguments can get ugly. We weathered it all. The “C” word- it scares a lot of people. It definitely scared me. I would have to make some major changes and that was a scary thing for me.  I cried my eyes out. My husband was there to comfort me. He was just as shocked as I was. I had to let my parents know and that was not easy. My Mom cried all night and that just broke my heart. I did not mean to worry her. Every time I had to break the news to family members and friends I had this huge lump in my throat and I am trying so hard to hold back my tears. There was no way I am going break down in front of them. I had to be strong- or so I thought.

In 2007 at the age of twenty four I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC) which is a type of breast cancer. It was malignant and I was a stage II. I will never forget the day that I was told that I had cancer. It felt like my world came crumbling down around me. In my mind I was screaming “this can’t be happening! I am too young for this.” The sympathetic doctor spoke comforting words and one thing he said was that many marriages break down during the course of the disease. He advised my husband that he needs to support me in any way he can and that advise my husband took.

Since this cancer was known to be aggressive, I was scheduled for surgery the following Friday. They performed a lumpectomy on my left breast which left my breast half the size that it used to be. I cannot tell you the amount of pain I had. Thank God for those pumps that I just pressed when I need a dose of painkillers. This was my first major surgery and all this was new to me. My nurse was just a sweetheart which was great. Being in a hospital gown was such an uncomfortable feeling. I felt exposed and my nurse made a joke out of it and it took the edge off but I could not wait to get back home.

Upon my return from the hospital, I had new medications and I had to empty out this grenade looking gadget that collected all the fluid from the surgery site. My husband stepped up to the plate. He helped me empty my little grenade and recorded all the fluid output. He helped me when I needed to get around, cooked my meals and he even arranged pillows all around me so that I am comfortable. I have never seen this side of him.

I started chemotherapy and then went on to radiation. My husband was always there. Some of my medications were affecting my mood thus the bad attitude. My good husband put up with it all. I was a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I am happy and the next I am crying and depressed. It is a wonder he did not run off.  He was there for me when my hair was falling off and all I could do was cry over my hair. He gave me time and finally I worked up the courage to shave all my hair off. He always told me I looked beautiful with or without my hair. I asked him a few days ago if he was okay with me being bald again for the third time, he looked at me and said he never had a problem with it. I know this man loves me more than he loves himself.

It has been four years since I was first diagnosed and the cancer returned on July 10th 2010. This time it is IDC breast cancer stage IV (4) and sarcoma which a muscle cancer. In addition to that I have limited vision on my right eye due to a tumor. I cried my eyes out again at the ER when it was confirmed. Since then I have added five other medical conditions under my belt- anemia, diabetes insipidus and Le Fraumeni Syndrome to name a few. Through all this my husband has stuck by my side. Giving me hugs and just holding me assuring me that it was going to alright. As he always tells me that we can make it because we have God on our side. Our faith in God has kept us together and kept us going.

We have had so many ups and downs we could write a book about it. I love my husband more each day. He has given so much for me and I greatly appreciate all he has done for me. I am a blessed woman and I do not take all this for granted. I am so grateful for all I have and all the money in the world cannot buy that. I do not doubt for a second that I married the right man and I would not trade him for the world. We were laughing about a joke he made and he tells me “Babe through sickness and in health and till do us apart” He remembers his vows and he is working on keeping it!

On a beautiful warm Saturday on May 14th 2011 we renewed our vows among family and friends. It was such a beautiful and emotional ceremony. I could not stop the tears from streaming down my face as we repeated our vows and I remembered how we struggled, how we cried together and how my husband was always there for me in the worst and best of times. Four years of dealing with cancer is tough and I am still going through treatments. We have had a lot of bad news lately and a few good ones but we are still here by God’s grace. Seven years ago I said those vows but did not know how true it would become. This man, my husband has proven himself. He has kept his vows to God and to me. Through all this he has taught and shown me true love. I thank God for blessing me with a great husband, my confidant and my best friend.


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