God is still in control!

No matter what happens I know my God is still in control! You know how we say we trust in God yet we try to find our own solution- that was me today! I am still in that learning curve:)  It is a revelation! I am trusting wholly in God and it is such a freedom!!! Felt like the whole load just fell off my back- God is working it out faster than I can ever manage:) I am glad that I still serve a GREAT and LIVING GOD- He can see and hear me! And I am glad that I can speak straight to Him!:)

Prayer is such a powerful things. Our family has been going through a lot- but prayer has been my source of strength. First my aunt (Mom's younger sis) was diagnosed with Leukemia back at home about 3 months ago. I got my own diagnosis which Stage 4 breast cancer about a month ago. My aunt passed away on August 19th 2010 (my b'day)- this has been such a hard thing for me to accept- but I am glad that she is not in any pain anymore.

Since finding out about my diagnosis I cannot tell you how much peace I have in my heart. I know I am going to be okay with God in control. I am so grateful for my church family. They have no idea how much it means to me when they tell me they have been praying for me:) I am grateful for my family- they have been there for me. Fear can be both consuming and distracting. It takes your focus away from what is important. I have so many families and friends that needs to know Jesus and know that He is real. You cannot keep Jesus in a box and only break Him out in an emergency. Been there done that. Everyday you live is a day closer to your time. That will be one less day for you to live- so live your life like it is your last day, forgive easily:) and love God with all your heart.

God bless!

A New Day

Hey its me again! Still alive and kicking! I have just had it with this stupid stinking devil! Good preaching last night by our pastor- really put things in perspective for me.

I was at the hospital this morning for my radiation appointment and made up my mind that I was going to start talking to some body about my Jesus.  I registered and got into the Radiation waiting room and I walked down the hallway and met a new friend- we got to talking and it seems like there has been a lot of death in her family. She has been in treatment for a good number of years. Please keep her in prayer. Another gentleman I met and he is also in treatment- he speaks mostly Spanish. We talked for a little bit. I will look again for them tomorrow. I know God has no barriers.

Celebrating Life

Will the birthday boy:) My dear nephew.

Celebrating Life

Last Sunday we celebrated my nephew, Will's 5th birthday. Mom missed it she is still in Fiji visiting:) It is so easy to make kids happy at this age, they are not as picky- he was just a happy camper:) Time really does fly- I still remember like it was yesterday the day that he was born:) My Dad is just a the proudest grandpa ever. He remembers all Will's little milestones and truth be told Will loves his grandpa a little more than any of us:) These moments are too precious.

Wow my 12 year old cousin is now taller than my sister. My sister cannot believe how Tyler has grown taller. The womenfolks are getting shorter:) It was just a nice time to spend with family and just enjoy good food. Chemo is starting soon:P and food will not be the top of my list.

I finally spoke to Mom over the phone yesterday. My Dad had called her on Wednesday to tell her about my illness and she had wanted to talk to me. So finally spoke with her last night- I think she was really anxious and she wanted to make sure I was ok. Moms will be Moms:) We talked last night and I think she was relieved that I was not hysterical about my situation. I feel so much peace this time around. God is good! We chatted and laughed- she is already in a hurry to get back to the US to be there for me during my treatment. I love my Mom, I am a grown woman but I still need my Mom around:) She is always the voice of reason.

I have always been an independent person- I hate to be a burden to anyone else- if I can do it by myself, I will but if I need help I will ask for it. Never be too proud to ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness. I had to learn that the hard way- that was a hard pill to swallow.

Starting treatment this coming Monday. They are doing a lumbar puncture on me to check if it has spread to my spine. I have never had one done before and I am not looking forward to it. I have been getting shots countless times this week- good thing I don't bruise:) I heard that it gives people headaches and it hurts:P when they get the LP. After that appointment I am off to start radiation on my eye- yay!! I have heard a lot of negative reports lately but "whose report will you believe? We shall believe the report of the Lord!"

My birthday is coming up on the 19th of August and I am planning to spend it with my hubby and my family:) I am going to be 27- oohh I am getting old- 3 more years and I will be 30. Life is such a great gift. Health is a great gift! Never take that for granted. To top it off- God gave you the freedom of choice- to choose at your will. Isn't God good? But never forget you will be answerable to those choices that you make. God bless!

Oh my Oh my! Gotta Shake this devil off!

Wow! I am thankful that I am in the truth- tell me why I feel that the devil is trying to steal my wind! No way devil- gotta shake this devil off!! So here is the situation- I have my eye (excuse the pun)on this family to start coming to church- someone is in the middle of this...and this someone in the middle is someone I respect and I have also been praying for a revelation for them. I think what was news to me that a huge huge church in San Jose is actually a non-denominational church- this person in the middle that I always thought stood for what they believe in goes to this huge huge church- this is a big compromise!

I was just sharing to my husband that I was thankful for Bro Al and Sis Filo. When I first started coming to church I brought my own views but never once did they shoot down anything we said- they let us grow on our own and figure out what is right and what is not. Looking back now- at the time when we were very new christians I don't think that we would have taken it well- the shooting down of our former beliefs-lol! That is wisdom from above:) Being the third person in a two person conversation I am biting my tongue. It is a very hard thing to do when I am sold out in the truth. Prayer changes things! Working on my list- help me Jesus.

My family:)

Last night I had informed my family about my diagnosis. They took it well and I was relieved with the reaction I got-no crying thanks goodness! I think I don't have anymore tears after the past few days- only words of encouragement. My family has gone through this with me in the before and they do know what to expect. I enjoyed time with them last night, just spending time and eating:) My little sister attempted to make lamingtons and my little bro made an awesome velvet cake and he also cooked dinner (pasta with meatsauce) I never have to worry about my brother starving..lol.. he is well equipped. I got to spend time with my niece and nephew- we painted their faces- I will post up pics later on:) My niece Jordan is growing up so fast:) She recognizes people now and would only smile at people she knows- such a brat. I spend a good long time trying to make her smile- never got one:P

My Dad encouraged me that they would keep me in prayer- Lord let this be a revelation to them is my prayer. My sister works for Stanford Hosp ironically for the Oncology Dept. She had made some calls yesterday and wanted me to get treated at Stanford. I am not sure about that at this point- still thinking about it. Part of me does not want people to readily access my medical information for a good reason. Some things Dr A tells me would scare my family so I choose not to tell them. My Mom is the person I am most worried about. She did not take it well the last time I was going through this. Please keep us in prayer.

God bless!

Life is so precious- We die longer than we live.

Two weeks have come and gone and at this point I am really sick of seeing the hospital. Started with a loss of eyesight but that was just the tip of the iceberg. I am so glad that I have a GREAT BIG GOD.

Monday 08/02/2010 I was told by Oncologist lets call her Dr A. that I have Stage 4 Breast Cancer- she says that it will be 6-12mons without treatment maybe longer with treatment. I am done crying over spilt milk I am on my way to living my life to the fullest.

It does give you a different perspective when they put an expiration date on you. This is not the time to sit around and mope- I am blogging at the moment without the influence of any meds...LOL! I have been avoiding any pain meds for the longest time. To be quite honest I am afraid- Afraid of a lot of things but certainly not death- do you know what death means to me- I get to see JESUS:) no more pain, no more sorrows, no more bills:) Ok I do not have a death wish- I still have a lot of people that I need to reach- I have a list of people- I like lists:) My prayer is that God would let me stay to do His will in my life- if He is done than I am ready. Despite what happens we will still worship HIM. He is still a sovereign God. He is still a miracle working God. It's in His hands.