I was just thinking today how cancer can take over your life- only if you let it! Getting the news is always devastating. Hearing it the second time for me was just as bad as the first time. The doctor told me how she sorry she was that it was back. All I can think about was how hard it was the first time to get back to what I know as "normal life" As a cancer patient I know for a fact how we all want to be normal. Do things that normal people do. Go out whenever we want without worrying about catching something because our immune system has been compromised by chemo, eating whatever we want without worrying about nausea and upset stomach and always having your Dr's digits in case something happens...and many more.
After reading books and talking to other people I have learnt to accept the changes. I have had to live with some side effects from the first time around. I became lactose intolerant (goodbye ice-cream!), joint pain, tingling and numbness of my toes and fingers. I dealt with it and just learnt there's some things I can't do and some things I have to go without. Some days I feel like tempting fate...I grab a couple of Lactaid pills and have a go at ice-cream...hahahaha...and then its a waiting game to see who wins..LOL!! Me or the ice cream...:) My good friend, Filo makes fun of me when I do that:)
So I joined this study on pain management they are researching at Stanford. They gave me some good tips. Glad to say I am off my pain meds for the past 3 days. Yay! I had to take Kadian (morphine) for a while...no pain but stomach problems and drowsiness. Didn't want to feel like I am floating so I decided to try and get through my day without it. Some pain but its manageable. *crossing fingers and toes*