Good Morning:) I am Blessed!!!

Blessed with the preaching last night. Blessed to have a great Pastor. Isn't it amazing that the word of God is always the right one for your situation? GOD IS GOOD!!!

I am ready to start the week. I have an early start this morning. Not exactly looking forward to today's appointment. It has been a rollercoaster ride for me but I am trusting in God to see me through. They had ordered genetic testing on me about 3-4weeks ago to find out why I am having different cancers at a young age. Breast cancer and Spindle Cell Sarcoma are the two that we are dealing with.

My results came back the day before Thanksgiving and I tested positive for the Li-Fraumeni Syndrome. This means I am at a high risk of getting more cancers because of a mutation in a gene that we all have called the TP53. They have told me that there's nothing they can do because this gene is in every cell but let me tell you my God is still in control. Thank you Sis Vicky for always reminding me of this! You have and continue to be a great friend and listener through all this and I appreciate that very much.

So here I am...waiting for what treatment plan they have for me. God has seen us through so many things and this is just another bump on the road.

http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/li-fraumeni-syndrome

Friday

I had such a great two days of Thanksgiving. Spending time with my family. We should always be thankful for what we have- Thanksgiving is like a reminder for me. I am so thankful for what I have. I am thankful to God that He gives me life everyday. Sometimes its hard but the good times make it worth our while and the bad- well we need to learn from it- and if it does not kill us it makes us stronger:) Like my Pastor says...God will not let you go through it if you cannot handle it....I believe that.

My husband did most of the cooking this Thanksgiving- I am so proud of him:) He cooked the turkey, baked corn muffins, cut up the veggies for the side dishes and carved the ham and the turkey. I love you my husband and I am THANKFUL for you:) We have so much leftovers so this morning I got up with turkey on the brain:) Got up and had thanksgiving food for breakfast lol! Yup! The whole sha-bang!!! Skipped the pumpkin pie....but I will be back...:) Can you believe my prayer was answered- I tasted food:) so while it lasts I am going for my favorite foods:)

Thanksgiving Cooking

My other favorite part of Thanksgiving is the eating part..lol:) I think I will try some new recipes this year because I am in charge of the side dishes.. maybe I should stick to the usual...thinking good old corn bread stuffing, green beans and the works,  roasted sweet potatoes and veges, mashed potatoes...  My aunt has dessert down....can't go wrong with pumpkin and pecan pie..I like mine with ice-cream need to pop a pill for this..lol! think lactose intolerant. Hubby has been going on about pumpkin cheesecake...we'll see...

I remember attempting my first Thanksgiving dinner years ago. The turkey looked so perfect on the outside but it was raw..it was a Disaster!!! My family had to wait longer to eat..lol...I have learnt my lesson. My mother-in-law on the other hand makes a mean Thanksgiving meal...I mean from scratch...and she makes these baked potatoes with veges...to die for!!! I still need that recipe:)

I love to cook and looking for recipes is like a new hobby now..lol..one of the nurses mentioned to me that she has met a lot of patients who are into cooking and just watching cooking shows when in the chair. I guess its because we can't eat most of it we just like to look at it :) How ironic:) I am hoping my tastebuds return to normal on Thanksgiving..lol! One can dream!! :)


Have a Great Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving- what it means to me...I am thankful for a lot of things.I am thankful to Jesus for the gift of life. I am thankful for my family and my friends. I am thankful for my husband. Yes I am. God gave me the right one:) We have been through thick and thin- God is good! I am thankful for my Dad and my Mom- they are there for me when I need them, my in-laws..love them too- I am thankful for my sister- she has been so supportive and calms me down when I get in panic mode- my little brother for helping when I get too tired to do things on my own.

I am thankful for a good and supportive church family. Great pastor and pastor's wife, great care pastor and care pastor wife. Great friends:)

Sometimes it feels like we are stuck in one place but when we look back God has really brought us a long long way from where we started from. So I am thankful for that. I am thankful just to be alive. I am thankful for the people God has brought into my life at this time.

Sunday

MOOD: OK Could be better

I am not feeling great today. My medications has got my system all messed up. Got my emotions all over the map, having hot flashes like you would not believe! Having a confused stomach and numb taste buds! I hate nausea! I hate being tired! I hate missing out on everyday things! Today is the day I am venting! So would you all excuse me while I vent!!! I am missing out doing family things and going to church and missing Sunday School- yes I really miss my kids in Sunday School- I love teaching Sunday School. I miss Sunday night services- so yes I am complaining up a storm today. Today I am sick of being sick!!! I had to miss church because my stomach could not settle down!!! It does get old.

Don't get me wrong-- I am grateful for the good things that I have in my life. All the blessings and all the support. I am human and sometimes it really gets hard to take. I do break down. Keeping a smile on can be a challenge. I know the road to recovery is much longer for me this time...so I gotta buckle in for the long ride..I am not going to give up- I am believing in my miracle. It's the getting there that can be a bit of a challenge. Staying positive is good but I am going to keep it real when I need to. Cancer sucks and I would not wish it on any living soul. It drains you out physically, emotionally and mentally.

Only Jesus can help me through this. Prayer helps- So when people tell me that they are praying for me- you have no idea how much that encourages me and lifts me up. So to all that prays for me I love and appreciate you and I am thankful that you are in my life at this time. Thanksgiving is coming up- I am thankful for all the great family, church family and friends for their love, support and prayers.

~Folau~

Tuesday Tuesday......

Having a quiet day today...tomorrow is off to chemo- stomach is settling down today so it is a relief:) Have been taking walks in the morning so that has kind of upped my energy...:)Since doing radiation and chemo my legs and joints have been nothing but achy- so the first day of the walk was tiring but I had more energy was I was done- so pleasantly surprised:) It was such a nice and lovely morning to take a walk:) It was just nice to walk and be thankful for such a nice day. To just be alive another day is a gift!!

Yesterday nausea kinda sneaked up on me- never had it that bad where I actually wanted to throw up- took meds and it helped a little and the episode passed within a few hours. I am ready today...kinda learn as you go. And now to more interesting things...lol:)

I am now fascinated with hats...and scarves..lol....so looking a ways to tie them and make them work with an outfit. Sis Cindy and Bea got me the cutest hats-THANK YOU I LOVE IT!!!  You ladies are too sweet & I love you!!! The colors are right on!!!! I love em.....check them out!!!! I gotta find the outfit to go with them:) It has the cutest flowers on the side:)

I MEAN HOW CUTE ARE THESE??!!  Love em!!!!

Tuesday Tuesday......

Having a quiet day today...tomorrow is off to chemo- stomach is settling down today so it is a relief:) Have been taking walks in the morning so that has kind of upped my energy...:)Since doing radiation and chemo my legs and joints have been nothing but achy- so the first day of the walk was tiring but I had more energy was I was done- so pleasantly surprised:) It was such a nice and lovely morning to take a walk:) It was just nice to walk and be thankful for such a nice day. To just be alive another day is a gift!!

Yesterday nausea kinda sneaked up on me- never had it that bad where I actually wanted to throw up- took meds and it helped a little and the episode passed within a few hours. I am ready today...kinda learn as you go. And now to more interesting things...lol:)

I am now fascinated with hats...and scarves..lol....so looking a ways to tie them and make them work with an outfit. Sis Cindy and Bea got me the cutest hats-THANK YOU I LOVE IT!!!  You ladies are too sweet & I love you!!! The colors are right on!!!! I love em.....check them out!!!! I gotta find the outfit to go with them:) It has the cutest flowers on the side:)

I MEAN HOW CUTE ARE THESE??!!  Love em!!!!

So Good To Be Alive

So glad to be alive and breathing- thank you Jesus!!....A big thank you to the Tikolutus for taking us out last night- we had a great time:) that cuppacino mousse cake was a "killer" in a good way!!! Well worth it!!! (but we are ok- inside joke..LOL!!)

I have chemo coming up early next week so I am enjoying the 2-3 days which are side effects free- that is less nausea and less upset stomach compared to the days after chemo.

I am getting the hang of this- it was getting pretty rough at first because I did not know how I would react to the chemo- but I am figuring it out- slowly but surely I will get back to the land of the living...lol! Trying out new things to up my energy...none working yet... I welcome suggestions:) I thought I was going to be a pro at this because this is the second time I am going through this- how wrong I was- this time it is a much different regiment and also treating a different cancer. I am getting there...

So today I am all around town with as much energy as I can muster...so watch out world- I will be in bed probably by 8PM....lol!! Looking forward to tomorrow's service.

Hairy Issues

As you know if you are going through chemotherapy you will most likely lose your hair- so I have gotten mine cut since it was falling faster than I thought. This is the second time I am going through this and I am more prepared now than I was before. At 24 when I had to cut my hair I was bawling my eyes out. I could not cut my hair. For women our hair is our identity- so for me at that time I felt like part of being a women was being taken away when I lost my hair. It took a while for me to get used to it. It was a joy to have my hair grow back for two years:) Short time but I enjoyed it while it lasted. My hair texture changed to something I liked:)- one of the benefits of chemo:) when it started growing back it was unbelievably soft...lol....people would ask to touch my new hair- it was too funny:) then the curls came in later but I liked my new hair.

So here we are again- my hair is gone again for vacation for another year:) I was a little hesitant but more ready this time around- handled it like a pro- no tears- I am a grown woman...LOL!!! Sis Vickie you have been such a great friend at this time. Thanks for always being there for me. Looking forward to when this is all over with! Yes this too has its season my friend! Its not going to drag on forever!! Gotta kick that devil in the teeth!

I will have my glory back and I know it will be better than the last:) So for now I think the ozone layer will be thankful for 1 can less of hairspray:)

My hair right before cutting it- I had lost more than half of my hair here.

Precious Kid

My nephew looked at me and did not know what to say when he saw I had his haircut:) poor kid!!  He kept asking "Nana where's your hair? and then came the "Why..." questions- My Dad calls his grandson MR.WHY... and I wonder why...

If you have not met my precious nephew- his name is William, he is 5 (his pic is in one of my blogs) He can literally talk your ears off. He has a very unique talent- he can talk and join different topics without pausing for your input. He is a one man show- wait a one- boy talking wonder:) My brother used to have the same problem when he was younger- but his little things was he was he would ask the questions that he already knew the answer to..lol....that was one thing that got on my Dad's nerves..lol..

Willy started kindergarten recently and he has been learning a lot...So he knows how to write his letters and numbers and other good stuff- but the way he explains how to write his letters blows me away sometimes..lol...so for the letter "A" he would say draw a slanted line, draw a slanted line and then draw a horizontal line...and then he would explain trapezium and curved lines and the works...lol!!! I am glad he is learning.

Sometimes I do miss days when things were so simple- being an adult is a lot of responsibilities:)

TODAY IS THE DAY- I WILL REJOICE

Having a blah day today- meds suck!!!- I have been missing Fiji a lot lately- never had that happen in a long time. There's a difference between what you want and what you get..lol! Feeling the tiredness and fatigue from all this treatment. I am glad that things are starting to improve. Oh what I would give for good health- if you have good health- THANK GOD for that!! No amount of money in the world can buy you that. I appreciate all the prayers and support- Thank you Jesus for great family and friends!!!

Always at the right time there's always a hug and word of encouragement. I have faith and I know that God has healed me- I am just on that path to recovery- its not an easy one though- gotta smile, grin and bear it:-D that's the way to go...lol.

Already finished second cycle- third cycle of chemo coming up again- just when you recover you are back on it....not fun. I am so glad I have capable nurses and doctors that look after me and a godsent social worker Ms B Bravo. God always gives the best!! I have just cut my hair on Sunday night- actually the hubs gave me a buzz cut- he didn't want to do it but gotta do what we gotta do- so now I am Ms Baldness to the fullness- of course I miss my hair- my head is colder, gotta wear a hat at night to keep my head warm..lol...all in a day's work. I need to give away my hairspray supplies..lol! won't need them for a while.

I think this time around I am choosing scarves and hats over wigs...I hated the itchiness the last time and the feeling that it was going to fly right off my head..lol....hate it!!! They have so many adorable scarves now and hats that also keep my ears warm- BONUS!! I hate being cold!!! What else has changed- well a lot lately....

One thing I wish for- more ENERGY!!! if it came in a bottle I would take one a day- well maybe ten:) Most of what is out there I can't take- if you have any suggestions feel free to drop me a line. I am now drinking some mix of vege and fruit smoothie- started today- not fun but gotta do it!!! I feel full from it but burping like crazy:P

Another fun thing has been happening- its called "chemo brain"-  2 words: brain fart. So I went into a store to buy something and it is right there in front of my face. I am trying to describe to the lady what I want and the words would not come out- I had my had my hand gestures going on and all but I could get out the name of that thing- she just looked at me and smiled- its like you know what you want but it just takes longer for your brain to process the information. I am on my way to aging full speed!!! Treasure your youth and your sound mind:)

Ladies- hot flashes!!! coming your way...to my young and youthful friends- when that time comes around- get ready with fans and cool towels- it creeps up on you..lol!!! Hubs is having fun with this- has his blankets all the way up to his head and I have the fans running...lol!!!

My hubby is a sweetheart and I love him to bits and pieces!! He has been supportive through all this- prays for me, takes care of me, puts up with me and encourages me. Thank you Jesus for my husband!!

That's all for now- Just thought I would kinda let you in on what's been going on in my life....

God bless!!!
Folau